When “Lack of Effort” Isn’t What It Seems

“Sometimes, we have to give students the space to just be.”

In the world of executive function coaching, we often highlight the wins—the student who starts turning in their homework, the one who finally builds a consistent routine, or the teenager who becomes more organized and independent. Those stories are inspiring, and they’re important to share. But today, I want to share something different.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. There is a strong relationship between challenges in EFs and mental health.

This month, we’ve spent a lot of time discussing emotional regulation, but today, I want to shift our focus to impulse control—specifically, response inhibition.

I once worked with a student whose mother reached out to me in frustration. She called one day and said, “Crista, I can’t handle it. I just can’t do this anymore.” When I asked what was happening, she explained that her son was lying to her every single day

I know the feeling all too well—that surge of excitement that can sometimes tip over into overwhelming energy. For young children, this often shows up as giddiness, silliness, and even uncontrollable behavior.

Coaches, we’ve all been there: the well-intentioned parent eager to support their teen’s development, and the teen who recoils at the mere suggestion. How do we navigate this delicate dance, especially when regulation is the focus? This month, let’s dive into the unique challenges of coaching adolescents and explore the parent paradox.

💡 When Emotions Overflow: A Student’s Journey to Regulation

Middle school can be tough—especially when emotions feel impossible to control. Years ago, I worked with a student who struggled with emotional regulation. When frustration hit, it often led to tears, making her a target for teasing from her peers

Several years ago, I worked with a family whose child, an elementary school student, absolutely loved Legos. One day, as a reward, he earned the opportunity to go to the mall and pick out a new Lego set. Excited, his dad packed them up, and off they went to the Lego store.

But when they arrived….