When “Lack of Effort” Isn’t What It Seems

“Sometimes, we have to give students the space to just be.”

In the world of executive function coaching, we often highlight the wins—the student who starts turning in their homework, the one who finally builds a consistent routine, or the teenager who becomes more organized and independent. Those stories are inspiring, and they’re important to share. But today, I want to share something different.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. There is a strong relationship between challenges in EFs and mental health.

This month, we’ve spent a lot of time discussing emotional regulation, but today, I want to shift our focus to impulse control—specifically, response inhibition.

I once worked with a student whose mother reached out to me in frustration. She called one day and said, “Crista, I can’t handle it. I just can’t do this anymore.” When I asked what was happening, she explained that her son was lying to her every single day

I know the feeling all too well—that surge of excitement that can sometimes tip over into overwhelming energy. For young children, this often shows up as giddiness, silliness, and even uncontrollable behavior.

Coaches, we’ve all been there: the well-intentioned parent eager to support their teen’s development, and the teen who recoils at the mere suggestion. How do we navigate this delicate dance, especially when regulation is the focus? This month, let’s dive into the unique challenges of coaching adolescents and explore the parent paradox.

💡 When Emotions Overflow: A Student’s Journey to Regulation

Middle school can be tough—especially when emotions feel impossible to control. Years ago, I worked with a student who struggled with emotional regulation. When frustration hit, it often led to tears, making her a target for teasing from her peers

Several years ago, I worked with a family whose child, an elementary school student, absolutely loved Legos. One day, as a reward, he earned the opportunity to go to the mall and pick out a new Lego set. Excited, his dad packed them up, and off they went to the Lego store.

But when they arrived….

A Lesson in Cognitive Flexibility

📖 Story Introduction:

In the early days of my coaching career, I worked with a student who was really struggling with disorganization. Wanting to help, I immediately suggested a binder system.

Are any of these scenarios familiar?

✏️ You’re a teacher. You’ve given your students a writing prompt. As you walk around, you notice one student staring at a blank page. They haven’t written a single word.

📚 You’re a coach or tutor. Your student has missing assignments, including a writing task. The teacher has left a note saying the student can still submit it. But when you ask your student about it, they shrug and say, I don’t even know where to start.

In our last newsletter, we explored what working memory is—our ability to take in information, manipulate it, and use it to complete a task. Now, let’s shift our focus to how this essential skill impacts students’ daily academic tasks—and, more importantly, how we can support them in strengthening it.

I just wrapped up a trip filled with working memory moments—but don’t worry, it wasn’t all work!

Sometimes, we just need nature. I traveled to San Francisco to present alongside Gretchen Wegner (of the Antiboring Learning Lab) at the California Consortium Independent Study, and it turned out to be the trip I didn’t know I needed.

Executive Function Coaching: A Specialized Skillset

While there can be overlap between the fields, Executive Function coaching requires a specialized skill set that builds upon the foundations of academic and ADHD coaching.