A Thanksgiving Reflection on Family,Coaching, and a Cat

Last week I was back in New Jersey because my mom had surgery. After she was settled on Monday I rushed back to my mother’s house to prepare for the final live session of the 2025 cohort. The topic that evening just happened to be regulation.

As many of you know I have two cats and Fiona is basically my little coworker. She is usually right by my side especially when I am working or preparing for a live session. When I walked into my mother’s house that afternoon she did not come to greet me. I also had not seen her before I left that morning which immediately caused me to panic. My sister and I started tearing the house apart checking closets cabinets laundry baskets under beds behind furniture and every odd spot a curious cat might find. We could not find her anywhere. All of this was happening while I needed to be ready to teach at 7 pm.

When the session began Fiona was still missing. I had to pull myself together regulate my nervous system and step fully into teaching mode even though every part of my body was still worried. About halfway through the session my sister texted me and said we found her. My brother had spotted Fiona calmly sitting in my bedroom completely unbothered by the chaos she had created. There I was teaching about regulation while actively needing every bit of it myself. The timing could not have been more ironic.

This experience turned out to be an unexpected reminder that regulation is not something we simply teach. It is something we have to practice. The real world does not wait for the ideal moment to challenge a skill. It shows up in the middle of a workday or a live session or a family emergency or in my case when your cat suddenly vanishes in your mother’s house an hour before you need to teach.

Executive Function Spotlight: Regulation

Regulation is one of the foundational executive functions. It helps us manage emotions thoughts and actions so we can stay anchored instead of reacting impulsively. When something stressful happens the emotional center of the brain activates first which makes the prefrontal cortex go quiet. During these moments it becomes very difficult to think clearly or problem solve and the body shifts into protection mode.

This is why strategies matter. Naming the emotion grounding in the body pausing breathing or connecting with another person helps bring the prefrontal cortex back online. Once that happens we are able to reflect plan and respond rather than react. Regulation is not about staying calm all the time. It is about being able to come back to calm. It is a skill that grows through use and one that students and adults can strengthen with intentional practice.

A Season of Gratitude

As Thanksgiving arrives this experience made me pause and reflect on how much I have to be grateful for. I am grateful for my family and the meaningful time I have had with them while my mom has been recovering. I am grateful for my Connected Pathways Coaching team. Bek, Rain, Jaclyn, and Maria are dedicated thoughtful and steady. Our program administrator Giovanna truly is my right hand and allows everything behind the scenes to run smoothly. I am also thankful for Jackie who began with us supporting social media and has now grown into administrative support as well. Their commitment makes it possible for me to serve families, lead trainings, and still be present with my loved ones when it matters most.

I am grateful for the educators, coaches, tutors, therapists, and counselors who choose to learn the science behind executive function in the Mastering EF course. Your commitment to understanding the reason behind the work raises the level of support that students receive across so many settings.

And lastly I am grateful for the families and students I work with. The stories in these newsletters the tools we create together and the small but meaningful moments of growth all come directly from our sessions. Some students even let me share their photos or their tools which is such a privilege and something I never take for granted.

Wishing You a Regulated and Restful Thanksgiving

I hope that this Thanksgiving holiday brings you rest connection and small moments of gratitude. And if nothing else may you be spared from a missing cat right before you have to teach about regulation.

Warmly,

Crista