Parents Want Quick Fixes

I can’t count the number of times I’ve had this phone call.

A parent reaches out, clearly overwhelmed and doing their best to advocate for their child. They ask thoughtful questions about coaching, about support, about next steps.

And then they ask the question that shifts the conversation:

“How long will my child need to be in coaching?”

As the call continues, it becomes clear that what they’re really asking is this:

“How quickly can you fix this?”

If you work closely with families, you’ve likely had this conversation too. And not just once. Often many times, sometimes with the same family.

A Pause from an Executive Function Lens

One of the things executive function training gives us is a very different way of understanding this moment.

Executive functions do not develop quickly. They develop slowly, unevenly, and over a long period of time. In fact, executive functions continue developing into the late 20s and early 30s.

So when a parent hopes for significant, lasting change in a few months, it’s not that they’re unrealistic. It’s that the way the brain develops is often misunderstood.

This lens matters, especially when we consider the students many of us support.

Most of my students are not navigating just one challenge. They may be managing learning disabilities, mental health needs, emotional regulation challenges, or a combination of all three. Each of these places additional demands on executive function.

An EF-trained coach doesn’t see a single skill to fix. We see a developing brain managing multiple systems at once.

Why This Conversation Feels so Hard

Coaches often tell me how frustrating this conversation can feel.

Parents want reassurance, certainty, and a timeline. Coaches understand development, complexity, and variability. Without an executive function framework, these conversations can feel tense or even adversarial.

EF training changes that.

When you understand that development is not linear, that students may take two steps forward and then two steps back, and that a three to five year developmental delay is common, the conversation shifts.

We stop promising outcomes. We start explaining development.

And when expectations don’t match development, frustration grows for everyone involved.

Why We Need to Name This Early

This is why EF-trained coaches approach consultation calls differently.

Executive function coaching is a process. Change happens over time. Strategies and tools matter, but development matters more.

Naming this clearly and compassionately from the beginning protects the relationship, the student, and the work itself.

Why I’m Focusing on Tough Conversations This Year

This year, inside the Academy community, I’m introducing a new series called Tough Conversations.

These are the conversations that don’t come with scripts or planners. They require confidence, clarity, and a solid understanding of executive function development.

The first session, Parents Wanting a Quick Fix, will take place on January 15th at 7pm EST.