Flexibility Without Chaos

Students don’t usually return to coaching because something is wrong.

More often than not, they come back because they’re transitioning into the next phase of their life.

New stages bring new expectations. New environments. New levels of independence. And during these transitions, many students need additional executive function support while their brain readjusts.

This isn’t about starting over.

It’s about flexibility.

I’ve seen this pattern many times, but two students come to mind immediately.

One student I coached from eighth grade through most of tenth grade. After that, he took several years away from coaching during high school. When he began his bachelor’s degree, he returned to coaching full time for his first semester of college.

After that first semester, we intentionally scaled back to 15 minute check-ins.

Those check ins have continued, and what’s been most interesting is how flexible the focus has needed to be. Some weeks we talk academics. Other weeks it’s life skills. At times we focus on attention and focus. Other times it’s planning or managing new expectations.

The structure stayed consistent. The support flexed based on what his brain needed in that moment.

Another student worked with me throughout high school and during her first semester of college. She then took a break from coaching. During her senior year of college, she returned and needed support again for the final two trimesters.

She’s currently doing weekly 15 minute check-ins, as well.

Now she’s transitioning into the workforce while still living at home. That shift has introduced new executive function demands. Different routines. Different expectations. Different family dynamics.

Nothing is broken.

The context has changed.

EF Pause

Before assuming a student has regressed, pause and ask:

• Has the context changed
• Are the demands different than they were before
• Does support need to flex while structure stays intact

Flexibility is an executive function skill. Chaos is not.

The Brain Based Lens

Flexibility is a core executive function skill managed by the prefrontal cortex.

Cognitive flexibility allows the brain to adapt strategies, expectations, and routines without abandoning goals. It’s what helps students adjust when something familiar suddenly requires a different approach.

Transitions place heavy demands on this skill.

As environments change, cognitive load increases. Even when executive function skills are present, the brain has to work harder to apply them in unfamiliar situations. Task initiation, motivation, planning, and follow through often feel less accessible during these periods.

Some students with executive function challenges may experience a developmental delay. Others may not. Either way, transitions can temporarily strain flexibility as the brain recalibrates to new demands.

This is where external structure matters most.

Flexibility does not mean removing structure or lowering expectations. It means adjusting how support shows up while the brain practices adapting internally.

Back to the Story

That first student continues to do extremely well with his 15 minute check-ins and is now attending postgraduate school. In one of our recent conversations, we talked about feeling uncomfortable.

We named it.

Feeling uncomfortable is a normal response to new experiences. It’s not a signal that something is wrong. It’s often a sign that the brain is stretching into unfamiliar territory.

For my other student, flexibility showed up differently. We paused. We restructured. We talked through having both a Plan A and a Plan B as she navigates uncertainty around a possible job opportunity next year.

Not because she can’t handle what’s ahead.

But because flexible thinking is essential when the future isn’t fully defined.

Executive function support during transitions isn’t about rebuilding skills from scratch.

It’s about adapting structure to meet the brain that’s showing up now.

Flexibility without chaos.