A Puzzle, a Pup, and a Path to Progress
As Mental Health Awareness Month wraps up, I want to share a story that’s stuck with me—and may resonate with many of you working with students. Also this is your last chance to join us tonight (or view the recording) for Click here for link
A few years ago, I received a referral from a therapist for a middle school student. The student had been diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder and a mood disorder. What stood out to me? The referral wasn’t for therapy. It was for coaching—specifically to work on self-regulation.
I began working with the student and her parents, and right away I noticed something: while she had clear mental health challenges, what she truly struggled with day to day was regulating emotions, managing frustration, and shifting gears in real time.
She became guarded whenever it felt like she was being judged or corrected—even though I was never doing either. So I knew I needed to try something different. Why This Matters for Educators and Coaches
Mental health and executive function aren’t separate silos—they’re deeply connected.
Self-regulation is a foundational executive function skill, but it’s also one of the first to be disrupted by mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, and mood disorders. When the brain’s stress response is constantly activated, students often struggle to:
manage impulses
regulate emotions
pause before reacting
shift attention
This isn’t a matter of motivation—it’s a matter of neurobiology.As coaches and educators, we don’t diagnose or treat mental health disorders. But we do support students in building systems, routines, and strategies that promote emotional regulation and reduce stress. And when we understand the overlap between EF and mental health, we can approach students with more empathy, patience, and creativity.
Want to know how the story ends? Let’s just say it involves an online puzzle, a favorite pet, and a whole new approach to self-regulation.
So, how did I actually connect with this student who became guarded whenever she felt judged or corrected?
The key was knowing what did make her feel safe—her dog and her love of puzzles. I reached out to her family and asked them to send me a photo of their dog. Then I uploaded the image into an online puzzle platform that allowed us to complete the puzzle virtually, together.
As we worked on the puzzle—piece by piece—her walls came down.
She was focused, relaxed, and engaged. And in those quiet, in-between moments, I gently asked about the situations at school that had been so difficult to talk about before.
It worked.
The combination of doing something calming and familiar, plus a touch of creativity and shared attention, created the space she needed.
She started to talk.
Not in big, dramatic revelations—but in little bits, layered with trust.
We began identifying patterns, naming the early signs of dysregulation, and practicing new ways to pause or redirect when she felt herself spiraling. Over time, she grew more confident in recognizing and managing her reactions.
Now, she works with another coach on my team. And while she’s not thriving just yet, she is improving. Progress is happening—slowly, steadily, and in her own time.
Just the other day, that coach told me,
“As long as you present something in a way where she feels supported, she’s willing to listen.”
That’s what executive function coaching can do.
It doesn’t replace therapy. But when done thoughtfully, it becomes a vital part of a student’s support system—one that empowers them with tools they can carry forward.
